This is the story of a Little Red Hen

who was born to a mama and dad

who took her home from the hospital

and the Little Red Hen went mad.

 

First they bounced their Little Red Hen

and walked her ‘round the town,

but still she screamed and cried all day

and never let them put her down.

 

Then they shushed their Little Red Hen

’til both their throats were dry,

they shushed and sang and bounced ’til morn

but the Little Red Hen still cried.

 

Next they drove their Little Red Hen

with her carseat buckled tight,

she almost slept but would wake each time

they paused at a red stoplight.

 

Last they bathed their Little Red Hen,

swaddled up like in the womb,

but the Little Red Hen didn’t like that much

and her cries filled the little bathroom.

 

“You cannot fix this Little Red Hen,”

said the doctor, “it’s just colic!”

So the Little Red Hen just screamed and cried

and her mom became an alcoholic.