This is the story of a Little Red Hen
who was born to a mama and dad
who took her home from the hospital
and the Little Red Hen went mad.
First they bounced their Little Red Hen
and walked her ‘round the town,
but still she screamed and cried all day
and never let them put her down.
Then they shushed their Little Red Hen
’til both their throats were dry,
they shushed and sang and bounced ’til morn
but the Little Red Hen still cried.
Next they drove their Little Red Hen
with her carseat buckled tight,
she almost slept but would wake each time
they paused at a red stoplight.
Last they bathed their Little Red Hen,
swaddled up like in the womb,
but the Little Red Hen didn’t like that much
and her cries filled the little bathroom.
“You cannot fix this Little Red Hen,”
said the doctor, “it’s just colic!”
So the Little Red Hen just screamed and cried
and her mom became an alcoholic.